


I Love Loving You

by psychotic_fangirl369



Series: Midnight talks [7]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Football Player Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Locker Room, M/M, One Shot, POV Simon Snow, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Pining, Pining Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:47:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23477203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychotic_fangirl369/pseuds/psychotic_fangirl369
Summary: "Simon Snow Salisbury is here. At my football game. And I want to set myself on fire."Simon and Penny go to a football game to support their uni team. Simon doesn't know what he's doing there since the star player, Baz Pitch, hates him. But a run-in in the bathroom changes everything.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Midnight talks [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/787968
Comments: 10
Kudos: 211





	I Love Loving You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Here's another little SnowBaz one shot. I hope you all enjoy.

** Simon **

I don’t know why I’m here, to be fucking honest. It’s not that I have anything against football. I love football. I used to imagine that my dad was a footballer and he’d come and take me away from the care home I was stuck in. I thought he’d train me up to be a footballer too and everything would end happily ever after.

What a fucking moron.

The care homes were shit, yeah. But that didn’t mean I had to go and make up a whole pathetic story about a model mother and a footballer father. It didn’t do me any good, in the end. It just made me more disappointed. And then, of course, I found out that Davy was my father and that he was a sadistic lunatic and then everything went to shit and I accidentally killed him in self-defense.

I don’t want to think about it.

I don’t think about a lot of things, if I’m being honest.

Like this – how me and Penny are at this football match, here to support our Watford University team, and Baz fucking Pitch is going to be on the pitch any second. I hope he doesn’t see me. I’ll probably combust if he does. I don’t even know why we hate each other so much. But ever since we bumped into each other – literally – at the start of semester, we’ve been a pain to each other. I tried to be nice. But Baz was a fucking pompous prat who couldn’t accept an apology and things escalated from there. I don’t know why. I don’t know what I did to make Baz hate me so much.

There I go, thinking about things that I shouldn’t. I’m an idiot.

Baz is like a god. He’s fucking rich and pretentious, but everyone else seems to love him. He has these friends, Dev and Niall, and they seem nice enough. I don’t get why Baz is nice to them but a royal douche to me. Baz has this gorgeous hair that falls to his shoulders and sometimes, when I sit behind him in lectures, I find myself wanting to touch it. To run my fingers through it. But I don’t. Why would I? I _hate_ Baz. He’s a bully. He’s so cruel. But he’s also wicket smart. He’s top of all our lit classes and he has this gorgeous voice that all the girls swoon over. Aggie swoons too.

That’s another reason why I hate Baz. Penny, Agatha and I all went to school together. They were there when everything went wrong with Davy. Then Penny and I got a flat for at uni and Agatha wanted to live alone. She’s super rich. She can afford it. Things seemed different with Aggie. Ever since I killed Davy. I suppose knowing that your boyfriend killed someone is a bit much. I’ve been told that before. That I’m too much. Too bright. Too sad. Too dangerous. Too handsome. Too different. Too much. I guess I’ve been no one my whole life so I try too hard to be what everyone else wants me to be. I guess I am too much. Penny tells me I’m not. But Penny has to say that. She’s my best friend.

Anyways, we’d only been at uni for a month. It was mid-October and I knew something was wrong. Aggie had come over when Penny was out. She’d said we needed to talk. I knew it was coming, but I still couldn’t quite believe it. Agatha was my destiny. We were supposed to be an end game. But then we were over and the next lecture I had with her and Baz, I saw here walk in, sit next to him and start to flirt. To be fair, Baz didn’t really flirt back. But I still hate him for it. Agatha and I were supposed to be _it._ But she left me for him. And he doesn’t even want her. Not even when she wore her brilliant golden hair in that beautiful braided crown style she likes, and wore that dress she got for our 3 year anniversary right before uni started.

I shouldn’t be thinking about this. I shouldn’t be thinking about Aggie and Baz.

The crowd starts to cheer and Watford Uni’s football team runs out onto the pitch. I don’t even know what uni we are playing against, but I don’t care.

Penny whoops beside me and takes my hand in hers. “Smile, Simon!” she shouts over the noise.

I grin back at her and start to cheer with everyone else. I can see Baz. His hair is up in a bun and I hate that he looks so perfect. Not a hair out of place. Typical.

Then the game begins. I’ve never seen Baz play before. I’ve been avoiding the games because of him. But now it is mid-November and Penny says it’s a crime that we haven’t been to support our uni’s star football team yet.

Baz gets the ball and then he is scoring a goal. I miss most of it. It happened to fast for me to really notice. But then the players are jumping on each other in celebration and the teams are lining up again to continue the game. It goes on like this for a while. They play, a team scores, the players cheer and then repeat. It’s a good game and Baz is wicket good on the pitch. Just like everything else. Baz is genius at everything.

At half time, Penny and I go to get a bag of crisps each from a vending machine near the locker rooms.

“Come on, Simon,” Penny says, slipping into the hallway.

I can hear the players – Baz, that’s definitely Baz’s voice – inside the locker room.

“Penny –“ I start. Then I pause. Because I do want crisps.

Penny grins at me. “We won’t run into Baz,” she reassures me.

“How do you know?” I ask.

“Because I know everything.”

We stop by the vending machine and Penny rummages in her pockets for some coins. I have nothing. Not on me, at least. Penny finds a couple pounds and we get our crisps. We are about to leave when we hear voices and then Baz and Dev and Niall are right there, staring at us.

I swallow and I can feel my face going red. I always go red when Baz is around. He looks at me with those cool eyes and sneers. He’s always sneering.

“What are _you_ doing here, Snow?” he drawls.

He never calls me Simon. He never uses my last name, Salisbury, either. I’m always just Snow to him. My middle name. Maybe it’s because everyone calls him Baz? I know that Baz is his middle name. Short for Basilton or some shit. His first name is something even for pretentious, although I don’t know what it is. I heard Dev use it once – Baz and Dev are cousins – but Baz shut him up pretty quickly and Dev had been too far away for me to hear it properly.

“Leave us be, Baz,” Penny snaps. “We just wanted some crisps before the second half.”

Baz glowers. “Kindly fuck off,” he sneers back. Then he shoves his way to the machine and gets a pack of salt and vinegar crisps. He always has salt and vinegar crisps. I’ve seen him eating them in class plenty of times. As he moves to leave, his shoulder bumps into mine and I lose it.

“Watch where you’re going!” I grind out.

Baz turns to look at me and raises a single, perfect eyebrow. How the fuck does he do that? It makes him look brilliant. I hate it. “He speaks,” Baz taunts. “I thought you were letting your little girlfriend do that for you.”

I move forward to throttle him, but Penny grabs my arm. “Let’s go back to the game, Simon. He isn’t worth it.”

I narrow my eyes. I can feel my chest rising and falling. “But – he – Penny –“

“Simon.”

I let out a long breath and nod at Penny. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

I cast one last scowl at Baz, then turn and walk back to the game with Penny.

“You shouldn’t let him affect you like that,” Penny says, eating her crisps.

We sit back down on our bench and the people around us are also slowly returning from getting snacks during the part time break.

“I know,” I tell her.

I do know. I shouldn’t let Baz affect me this much. But I hate him so much. He gets under my skin in a way that no one else ever has.

Penny pats my knee and then looks out onto the field. “Games starting again.”

I follow her gaze. The team is back on the pitch. And Baz is staring right at me.

****

** Baz **

Simon Snow Salisbury is here. At my football game. And I want to set myself on fire. I first met Simon at the start of the semester, back in September. He bumped into me, before blustering out an inept apology. Snow is such a blusterer. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him have a proper conversation. I’d looked up at him and my heart had stuttered to a halt and I did the only thing I could think of. I’d insulted him. We’ve been fighting ever since.

The problem is, I _like_ Snow. In fact, I’m half way in love with him. He’s beautiful and glowing and a literally fucking ball of sunshine. And he hates me. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I’ve been nothing but horrible to him.

Dev says it’s a condition. That I don’t know how to interact like a normal human being. Niall says I’m mean and that I should suck it up and talk to him. That I should _kiss_ him. Morons.

Simon Snow Salisbury is at my football match and I was just rude to him again. Fuck my life.

“Baz, snap out of it,” Dev says, nudging me. “We have to be back on the pitch soon.”

Sure enough, Coach Mac is telling us to get our arses back on the field and to win the game. We are 1 goal ahead, the score 4-3. I’ve scored two of those goals. I feel good about that. Not because Snow is here. (Although, I am pleased to show off in front of him. Even though he’s straight. And hates me.) I need to play my best game now. And shove it in Snow’s face just how fucking great I am.

We move back out onto the pitch. As we go, I scan the stands. There, I spot him. He stands out like a beam of light. He’s gorgeous. It hurts to look at him, sometimes. (I’m always look at Snow. In lectures. On campus. Whenever I get the chance.) He has these moles scattered across his skin and I want to lick each and every one of them. Then I want to suck on his neck until I leave a mark. And kiss him until he can’t breathe. I’ve never kissed anyone before. (I know. I’m 19. And fucking gorgeous. But I’ve never liked anyone enough. I’ve never wanted to. I want to kiss Snow. I want to do everything with him. Only him.) Snow’s kissed people. At least, he’s kissed Agatha Wellbelove. They were dating through high school, I’ve learnt. But they are over now. (Thank God.) Wellbelove asked me out. I told her no, of course. But not why. I couldn’t exactly tell her I am in love with her ex-boyfriend.

It takes me a moment to realize Snow is look at me, as well. We stare at each other for several long moments, before Dev is grabbing my arm.

“Focus, Pitch!” he shouts at me.

I shake my head, clearing all thoughts of Snow. I need to win this game, for heavens sake.

We win the game. I score the winning goal.

** Simon **

Baz was brilliant in the second half. He scored three more goals, one of them being the final shot. I’d stood and cheered with the rest of them, my face hurting from the force of my grin. Baz looked so fucking graceful as he ran across the pitch with the ball. He has these really long legs that let him look even more beautiful in his football kit.

Me and Penny are about to head home when I decide I need the bathroom.

“You can just go when we get back to our flat!” Penny argues.

“But it’s a half hour car journey,” I argue back.

She waves her hand at me and I jog off to use the bathroom. It’s as I’m washing my hands once I’m finished that the door opens and in walks Baz. He’s alone this time. He’s still in his football kit, but has a hoodie on over it and his hair has come out of its bun and is falling in his face. He has his sports bag slung over his shoulder and when he sees me, he pauses, lets out a long suffering breath and sneers.

“Snow.”

I nod at him. “Baz. Good game.”

Baz looks surprised for a moment. I suppose we’ve never said anything nice to each other before.

“Thanks.”

We stand their awkwardly. After a few moments, I decide I need to leave and I try to make my way past him. On my way, I slip. I’m always slipping. I’ve clumsy as anything. I reach out to steady myself and end up falling into Baz. He yelps and grips onto me and then we are both falling. I land first, my head smashing into the ground painfully. Baz lands on top of me. We stay there for a moment, before Baz clambers off me and helps me stand up. As soon as I’m up, the world goes blurry and I wince as my head stings.

“Snow. You’re bleeding.”

Maybe it’s the head injury, but Baz almost sounds worried.

“Am I?” I ask. I reach up and touch it. My fingers come away bloody. “Oh.” Then I feel dizzy again and grip onto Baz.

“Let’s go to the locker room. There’s a first aid kit in there,” Baz says. “The team should have left by now, so it’s fine.”

I nod. “Lead the way.”

** Baz **

Snow is leaning against me as I walk with him to the locker room. I try not to be too happy about it, after all. He’s hurt. His heads bleeding. I peeked at is as we walked and it isn’t bad. Just a scrape really. But I won’t pass up this chance to spend time alone with Snow. And it could do with being cleaned and the blood being wiped away. When we reach the locker room, I sit him down on the bench and go to grab the first aid kit. Then I make Snow straddle the bench and sit down behind him so that I can see the injury.

Being this close to Snow is fan-fucking-tastic. He smells of smoke and his entire body is radiating heat. I could lean forward right now and kiss the back of his neck. (I imagine him shouting at me. And then snogging me back helplessly.)

I rummage through the kit and get out a cloth to clean away the blood. When I first apply pressure, Snow winces and jolts forward.

“Sorry,” I mumble and, feeling brave, I put my free hand on his shoulder and squeeze. Then I keep it there as I once again go about cleaning Snow’s wound.

“Thanks,” he murmurs.

“You’re welcome.”

We sit in silence for a few moments. Then –

“You were really good in the game.”

I allow myself a pleased smile because Snow can’t see me. And because it really was a fantastic game and he was there to see it. “So you’ve said,” I reply.

He huffs. “I’m trying to be nice. But if you are going to be like that –“

“Snow,” I interrupt. Because I don’t want him to be angry. I want him here, with me, enjoying it. I don’t want him to shout and get upset and leave. (I never want him to leave. I’m pathetic. But I’ll gladly be pathetic if it gets me Snow’s attention.) “I’m sorry. Thank you. For watching. And for the compliment.”

Snow pulls away and stands up. For a minute, I think he is going to leave, but then he sits down, straddling the bench again. Except this time, he’s facing me.

“Snow, I was trying to clean your head injury,” I scold him.

He shrugs. “I’ve had worse.”

He stares at me silently for a few moments and it feels wonderful and dreadful all at once. I want to know what he’s thinking. I want to know what he wants. I want to kiss him. I could. We are so close. I could lean forward and press my lips to his. Just once. Even if he never talks to me again. Because Snow barely talks to me as it is. So I could do it. It wouldn’t change anything. (He’d know I’m gay. But I’m not exactly in the closet. I just don’t broadcast my gayness to everyone.) I could kiss him. He’s so close.

Then Simon Snow Salisbury leans forward and _kisses me._

** Simon **

I don’t really know why I do it. Except that Baz is right there and he looks so fucking beautiful with his hair falling around his face and he’s being nice to me and my shoulder is burning from where his hand had been. I don’t really know why I kiss him. Except I want to. I really fucking want to. So I do.

** Baz **

I don’t know what to do. It’s my first kiss. Snow is kissing me. His lips are moving against mine and I try to mimic him. But then I give up and let him do whatever the fuck he wants. His is so warm. His hands have come up and one is on my cheek and the other is in my hair. I reach out too. Because I can. Because I think I must be allowed to. I put my own hands in his hair, on his face, on his arms. His lips are still moving against mine and I try to kiss him back as good as I can. _Simon. Simon. Please._

** Simon **

Baz is kissing me back, so this must be all right. His hair is as soft as I thought it would be and I’d happily stay here, like this, forever. His skin is so cold, but I think my kisses and hands are warming him up. The position on the bench is uncomfortable, so I push him until he’s lying on his back and then I hover over him. I don’t stop kissing him. His hands are in my hair and it feels so good. I’m kissing _Baz_ and I’m loving every second of it.

** Baz **

I don’t know what’s happening. But I pray to whatever God exists that this never ends.

** Simon **

Eventually, we have to stop kissing, because neither of us can hold our breath for much longer. We sit on the bench, next to each other. I held his hand a while ago and that is the only point in which our bodies are touching. So I shuffle closer until our shoulders and legs and pressed together too. Baz doesn’t say anything, but his grip on my hand tightens.

“Baz,” I whisper. My lips feel swollen from kissing and my throat is dry.

“Simon,” he replies.

I nearly fall over when he says my name. My actual name. “Say it again,” I demand, turning my head to look at him.

He looks back at me. His cheeks are flushed. His lips are red and swollen and his hair is a brilliant mess from my fingers. “Simon. _Simon.”_

I lean forward and peck his lips. Once. Twice. Then I rest my forehead against his. His breathing is uneven, but he doesn’t pull away. I take that as a good sign.

“Do you want to get coffee?” I ask him. Because I know he loves coffee. He always has a cup of coffee with him in lectures, regardless of the time of day.

Baz smiles slightly. A proper smile, not a smirk. “Now?”

I laugh. “I was thinking tomorrow morning. But now is good too.”

We look at each other. Are foreheads are still touching and we are both grinning wildly. It’s perfect and brilliant and everything I didn’t know I wanted.

“Coffee sounds good,” Baz says, and then he’s kissing me again.

I don’t complain. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of kissing Baz. I could kiss him forever.

**  
Baz **

Simon Snow Salisbury has just asked me on a date. Fucking hell, I’m living a charmed life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
